I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
