I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
