capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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