You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
