This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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