did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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