Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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