oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
