I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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