i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
