Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
