real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
