Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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