May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
