so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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