Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
