My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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