No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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