I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
