Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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