it was like his penis was on wheels.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
