I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I understand Curling. That high.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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