butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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