You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
