Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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