But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
