1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
