you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
