I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
