So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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