I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
