my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
