i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
