Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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