So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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