I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
