Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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