hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
