i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
