Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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