Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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