It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
