I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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