He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
