I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
