You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
