HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
