Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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