Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
