Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
