maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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