Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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