If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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